Dad, what are you going? It’s ‘Shark Week’!

This is going to sound weird but, for a second, I think you took on the shape of a unicorn.

You better not go to sleep. As soon as your eyes shut, I’m gonna punch you square in the face.

I’m not gonna call him dad, not even if there’s a fire.

Did we just become best friends?

You are wearing tuxedos to a job interview that requires you to clean bathrooms.

Alright, that is it! You guys leave me no choice! No television for a whole week!

I have a 39-year-old son named Brennan – who still lives at home with me!

Hey, you know, we don’t have to whisper anymore. Mom and Dad aren’t here.

Okay, I’m gonna save it with the solo.

Stay golden, Ponyboy.