Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.

Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often.

Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond; cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.

When in doubt tell the truth.

Truth is the most valuable thing we have. Let us economize it.

Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.

Optimist: day dreamer more elegantly spelled.

Humor is mankind’s greatest blessing.

The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.

The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.

Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.