I do all these things not because I want to, but because I have to. From this moment forward, Kenny Powers is just like everyone else: normal, not special; no hopes or dreams; pretending to be happy when he's really super sad. Just an average guy, with exceptional hair. Nothing more, nothing less. From this moment forward, the People's Champion, the Shelby Sensation, the Reverse Apache Master, the Man with the Golden Dick, Dr. Cock and Balls -- that Kenny Powers is now dead. And he will never pick up a baseball ever f**king again.

― Kenny Powers Tweet