My level of sarcasm has gotten to a point where I don’t even know if I am kidding anymore.

Everybody has a right to be stupid, but some people abuse the privilege.

You know what I like about people? Their dogs.

Your opinion is not my reality.

Keep rolling your eyes. Maybe you’ll find a brain back there.

During labor, the pain is so great that a woman can almost imagine what a man feels like when he has a fever.

No, no, no. I’m not insulting you. I’m just describing you.

Understimate me. That will be fun.

I’m not always rude and sarcastic. Sometimes I’m asleep.

What’s a queen without her king? Well, historically speaking, more powerful.

Sometimes the first step toward forgiveness is realizing the other person was born an idiot.