Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.

The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.

Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often.

Humor is mankind’s greatest blessing.

Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond; cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.

The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.

Truth is the most valuable thing we have. Let us economize it.

When in doubt tell the truth.

Optimist: day dreamer more elegantly spelled.

Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.

Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.